The Hell Butterfly

Match Dot Com

Marvel, Music and Match.com

As y’all may have noticed, I’ve been absent for some days. I have a good reason this time, I swear. I’ve been busy, having a life for once. I know, shock horror. In a nutshell, I spent Friday night watching films at my sister’s flat, went to London Film and Comic Con on Saturday morning/afternoon and then to Leicester Square to see STOMP live (what a day that was) and have since re-evaluated the value of the Match.com service. I feel a substantial update is in order.

Thursday:

A relatively normal day, yet the prelude to one heck of a weekend. My older sister came down from her place in Wimbledon for the night. Tensions were a little high because, honestly, that’s just the aura my sister inspires. Beds to be moved, food disappearing conspicuously from fridge and cupboards alike, and an often overbearing personality to match. But it was okay. She wouldn’t be here long, so we put up.

Friday:

I wake up to find my sister at my Dad’s desk: she has elected to work at home so she can travel with me back to hers as soon as her clock says 5:30pm. All is well until suddenly, something goes wrong. If I’d have looked, or if she had’ve said something beforehand, I would’ve noticed the tension and frustration she was harbouring. As it happened, I didn’t know until she snapped at her coworker: she had waited until the last possible moment to tell my sister the code was broken, and with the demo in one hour, there was no time to fix the error. This coworker was blaming my sister as it was her part of the code that had broken, yet waited too long for her to do anything about it. Let the stress commence. Shouting, finger-pointing, name calling, and several desperate attempts to fix the coding. My sister and I have a see-saw relationship as it is, but after a day of work like this, I was walking on eggshells around her: couldn’t put a foot wrong and set her off. That would only set the tone for the entire weekend, and without a get-away method, I couldn’t let that happen.

The afternoon was spent watching The Chase, a favourite hobby of mine. I love quiz shows. By 6 o’clock we were on the road to Wimbledon. By 8, I was sitting on my sister’s bed, watching The Lion King with some pasta while my sister went out for drinks with her old work colleagues. 11 o’clock came and with it our bed-time – our morning would be an early one. And of course, when my sister is involved, sleep is hard to come by. She cannot sleep without voices. I cannot sleep with them. Being her flat, and pulling the age card, she won the toss and so I had to wait for 2 hours until the tv went off so I could sleep. Thanks to her personal space issues, I was forced to the very edge of the mattress and was still awake at 3. By the time my alarm went off at 6, I had had no more than 2 hours sleep, and I was due to be on my feet until evening. This was going to be a hard day.

Saturday:

6:00am: awake and out of bed
6:15am: dressed and breakfasted
6.25am: bag packed
6:30am: teeth-cleaned, coat on and ushered out of the door
6.35am: power-walking in the crisp morning air

I’ve never woken up and been on the move so fast in my life. That I remember anyway. Suffice to say, by the time we got to the queue at LFCC, we’d been awake a while and were well into our day.

Things began to go wrong from the off. We should have noticed. We got to the tube station and the one line we needed – the District line – was shut. What should have been a direct route from Wimbledon to Earl’s Court became a much longer journey with two changes and three different underground lines. But we made it, and so our Day of Heaven and Hell began.

We met a nice bloke and his Dr. Who mad daughter behind us in the queue and showed them the ropes as it was their first Con. For me, it was my third, and for my sister, her fourth. So we gave them some tips to survive to the event. They were nice, and even queued behind us by choice as far as the ticket booth. And here, the subtle downhill took quite a mighty drop. After upgrading ourStan_Lee entry tickets – for which we were short-changed – we went inside, headed straight for the timetable at the back of the used-to-be-aircraft hangar, and my sister reached for the tickets to compare timetables with our schedule. Bear in mind we both had tickets for a photo shoot with Stan Lee – STAN LEE – and my sister had one for Summer Glau. In total, about £130 worth of tickets. They were gone. Check the backpack check the pockets check the wallets check the backpack check the backpack. Gone.

Cue the beheading of the chickens. We ran around the building looking for somewhere we could buy more, someone who might have seen them, some possible way we could salvage something from the wreckage. Nada. Stan Lee photo shoot: SOLD OUT. Summer Glau photo shoot: SOLD OUT. This was Stan Lee’s last ever European appearance and we were going to meet him and have our photo with him and the tickets were gone. My sister had a panic attack, while I remained scarily calm and unaffected. It worries me how completely not-bothered I was about it. I don’t know why, I should have been fuming, but I wasn’t. It was weird. But the gut-wrenching disaster was not lost on me. I knew we were fucked. But in an uncharacteristic show of optimism, I managed to persuade my sister to carry on as though we were never meant to have those juliet-landautickets. She bought me a surprise photo shoot with Juliet Landau (swoon) and she recognised me from the signing table earlier which was incredible. This was the second time I’d met Juliet, and perhaps because she was on her own here, she was much chattier than before. She is amazing – chatting to us casually about the theatre in her beautiful, albeit unexpected, British accent while we held up the line. The photo-shoot was a nice attempt by my sister to make up for the lost Stan Lee ticket.

By the end of the day I had collected a photo and autograph from Juliet Landau, two new comic books signed by the writers, 2 Bleach posters courtesy of my sister, and a lot of back and knee pain. (FYI: my hips, thighs, calves, shoulder and back are all still in so much pain today. Always stretch at Comic Con). I think my sister had an okay time in the end. Of course that was a big disappointment, but she was able to get an autograph by Summer Glau for her, one for her boyfriSummer_Glauend as a birthday surprise, and a lovely (secret) photo of her at the signing table (not that one <<<). She had said no posed photos, and eventually no photos at all, but after hearing the story of the ticket fiasco, she felt bad that the Con had not done more to help us out, so allowed a photo to be taken – a very rare, but incredibly sweet gesture. I wasn’t there for that. I was in the other building watching gamers play Street Fighter, FIFA and Sacred 3, chatting to a Welshman about his Soviet Russia comic book (which he then signed my copy of), and getting mistaken for staff. This last would happen a further 5 times before I rejoined my sister.

And so 4 o’clock came, and we had finished. Merchandise had been bought, celebrities were as met as they would ever be, and we were ready to leave. The only big downside was that we never got to meet Stan Lee, not even for autographs. We collected ticket numbers 1603 and 1604, but they closed his signing table at 450. I think his age is catching up to him, and it had been a long day. We never stood a chance. At least this way it feels like he was never there, so the loss feels less. We left the manga, Transformers vehicles and many many incredible costume-clad fans behind us and headed out to St James Park.

Here, we met up with our Mum, Dad, other sister, uncle, and his fiance. The weather was fabulous, and we sat at the fountain, walked in the sun, and regaled our tale to them all as we found a place for dinner. For me, I felt something change as soon as we met up with the family. I didn’t notice it straight away, but looking back I can tell this was where things personally went downhill. Where I had been unaffected by the loss of the tickets, now something was different. I got irritable, and as much as I want to blame it on the heat and the fact I hadn’t eaten since 6am, I’m not sure. But there was a definite problem at the restaurant. My older sister has never understood my issues with food. I cannot eat in public. I can’t eat in front of people, period – with the exception of my immediate family – but it’s worse in public places. That’s why I could only manage three small pieces of bread torn off the roll we’d packed for lunch. In the restaurant, we were handed menus and I couldn’t even look at it. So when it came to ordering and everyone (7 pairs of eyes) turned to me for my order, and I shook my head no, I couldn’t even look anyone in the eye. Out of my peripherals I saw my older sister shake her head with a look of disgust on her face. She made a speech about needing to eat and how if I passed out it would be my own fault and all I could do was repeat “I know” in a whisper and fight off the panic attack building in my throat. I was almost hyperventilating, shaking, and nearly didn’t fight off tears. She doesn’t get it, but I was under so much pressure and I just couldn’t do it. She’d tried to force me to eat lunch, and that had set me back. Dinner was so much worse. So I sat in silence all through dinner, with nothing but an Appletiser, and just thankful that no-one had brought it up again.

Finally, we were done, and it was off to the theatre for the percussion meets dance production STOMP. The Ambassador Theatre to be precise. A nice, cosy little place. We were in row C, two rows away from the stage. Perfect seats, well worth the price we paid for them. I was STOMPworried I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the show with the foul mood I’d found myself in. I was wrong. Wow. I mean, WOW. What. a. show. It was beyond incredible. Several times throughout the show I caught eye contact with the musicians and was secretly pleased at the smile that spread on their faces from the joy I felt plastered on my own. I was having a great time, and was one of the only people in the room who could clap at the right time. It was a nice feeling to know that the grins on their faces were in part due to the undiluted awe they must have seen when they made eye contact with me.

I’ve seen STOMP on the tv before and it was hilarious, heart-pounding, and ear-gasmic. That was what made me want to see it live. My family all agreed and so we went and it’s the best decision I’ve made all year. It’s even better live, feeling the drumming in your chest, laughing audibly at the visual humour, and knowing that it was their 5000th show that night. We were splashed during the sink scene, and were close enough to see their shoulders shaking as even the actors found it hard to contain their laughter. At the end of the show they celebrated with a synchronised beer opening, two of which were handed from the stage to my Dad and uncle. My family started the standing ovation and we met three of the cast members after the show. And yes, photos were taken. I’m sure they won’t mind my putting it up here. The two men in the middle are the main actors. They’re the nicest guys.

STOMP and the familyDespite being so tired and food-deprived that I almost passed out on the platform back at Basingstoke, it was an unbelievable day. We had tears, sweat, laughs, celebrities, sweat, excitement, disaster and more sweat .. but I don’t regret it. I was dizzy, so I ate. I felt disgusting from the heat, so I showered at 11.30 at night. I was tired, so I was the first to bed. Yet it was worth it. I don’t know if I was able to tell my face, and in turn my family, but I know I enjoyed myself. And I slept great last night.

As exciting and the day was though, I don’t think I’ll have myself another big adventure too soon. I’m now watching the World Cup Final, rooting for Germany. When it is over, I’ll probably have some ice-cream while I catch up with the tv I missed this week, then go to bed to rest my muscles. They won’t forgive me for a while.

I am living proof that when disaster strikes, and tragedy appears, some hope and joy can be salvaged. From the ashes of our Stan Lee tickets arose a Juliet Landau photo shoot and a half-decent Con. And after the fiasco over dinner, I heartily enjoyed the show. Go and see it while it’s still showing. You will not regret it.

Finally, Match.com. My update here is that, having received an email from another member and not being able to read it with my free account, I have decided it is a load of crap. I shall not be continuing my membership, nor my Match Dot Com posts. I was looking forward to doing some posts on the subject though so I guess Plenty of Fish is my next destination. For now, however, I conclude that Match.com sucks.

My essay is over, and regular broadcasting will now commence.

Peace out.


Match.Com? More like Match.Con

First off, I’m still getting my head around this new system so I’m a little foggy on how to insert images. I’ll be attempting to put one in later, but I don’t know if it’s going to work. Don’t worry, I’ll talk about it so if it doesn’t show, you’ll still get the goods.

Let me begin with a recap of what you can do with a free account on Kerrang! Dating:

– Log in

That’s pretty much it. I had higher hopes for Match.com. I honestly did. Yet for a dating website that prides itself on being a free service, it sucks as a free service. Before I get into the nitty gritty of my first impression of the site, let me introduce you to the Toolbar. I can’t work out how to put the print-screen in, so I’ll just describe it.

We have Emails, Views, IM, Winks, Favourites and Daily 6.

Some of those are obvious, and others not so much. IM is Instant Messenger, Favourites is like a bookmark for a profile, and as far as I can discern, Daily 6 is a system that matches you with 6 different profiles each day. Like a spotlight on 6 compatible members that changes daily. Seems like a half-decent addition.

After the 20 minute sign up process, I began to investigate the site and its possibilities. I could access my emails, I could see one of the six Daily 6 members – yet not the other 5 – and I could search for and browse members. In terms of the Daily 6, you can only view the next member on the list by selecting Yes, No or Maybe under “Interested?” I don’t know if the other member is informed of your choice, but either way you cannot view all 6 members without making an on the spot decision.

But you see, here’s my gripe. Despite advertising that you can access the site for free, you can basically do jack shit without being spat out at a page to enter your credit card details. Clicking on Views, IM, Winks or Favourites takes you to a page where you can make the decision between 6 months (£9.09/month) 3 months (£13.99/month) or 1 month (£20.99/month). And I’m pretty sure this is a deal on currently, so this is likely to go up in price in the future. I’m not even convinced that you can get a ‘perfect match’ as labelled by the site without subscribing. At least you can view the profiles you’ve searched for.

But ignoring the lack of things you can do with a free account, there are other issues. For one, the look of the site. I mean, just signing in and taking a good look at the layout, the font, the colour .. just, no. It looks like Craigslist only with a banner and pictures. And double line spacing. I just don’t like it. It looks dodgy. On top of this, it makes my laptop lag. like. a. bitch. It took 30 seconds for this sentence to appear on my screen after I typed it. I don’t know why, maybe there’s just too much happening on the one site for it to keep up. All I know is my computer can’t cope with this shit.

So far I have had one wink and 7 views, but I can’t use the Views section to see who looked me up, and can’t access the Winks page to see which creep thinks this feature is a good idea. This is the one thing I can say for certain Kerrang! Dating and Match.com have in common: I hate, with a passion, the Winks feature.

Something I have just discovered is that it did not, for some weird reason, accept the photo I put up on my page. That means at this stage I do not have a picture. Now, I’m the first to say a profile without a photo is not worth my time or patience, but I have a slight issue: there is no reason that picture should not have been accepted, and now, through no fault of my own, I cannot look at other people’s pictures. I can see profile pictures, but without having a profile picture of my own, I can’t browse the other photos on a person’s page.

Thus far I am unimpressed with Match.com. As the title of this post suggests, I think it’s more Match.con. There is time yet for this to improve, but I’m not too sure how it can get any better. I’ve already paid a stupid amount of money for a service (Kerrang! Dating) that isn’t worth its weight, or lack thereof, in gold. I’m not paying for it again. I’m not on Match.com for the dating. I’m on it for the laughs (if I can even get any without a credit card) and to give you, the reader and prospective online daters, a look into the services available. I’m not sure that I can recommend Match.com just yet, but we’ll see.

To close this post, I just want to give y’all a quick update on my ‘relationship’ with M24. For those who have forgotten, or joined after the posts about him, M24 is a nice, handsome young man I met on K! Dating in February.The first 6 weeks were great, we talked every day, then we met and the first date was really nice. Awkward at times, but ultimately encouraging. The second date was very good as well – easier conversation; him paying; hand-holding –  and I really thought we could go somewhere. But after this second date, he has slowly begun to decrease the frequency of his messages to me. He often drops out mid-conversation with no explanation. Sometimes he tells me the next day he fell asleep so didn’t reply. Other times he’ll give no reason at all. The longest period – very recently – was a week with nothing. I caved and text him, and in reply he said he’d had a busy week. From his description is was pretty hectic. But he said he missed talking to me. This was about 5 days ago. He hasn’t text since. So much for ‘missed talking to me’. My sister has told me to cut my losses. I don’t know how to do this, but I’m starting to feel I should. My reluctance is that he is a good looking guy who seemed to like me despite my bad points, and who even said he wanted to kiss me, and yet now can’t even pick up his phone to say hello. I don’t wanna lose the only good romantic thing to happen to me, ever, but I deserve better than this. Don’t I?

So until he pulls his finger out, or I figure out how to let him go, I’m going to make fun of online dating and ease myself back into blogging about something decent.


Internet Dating Revisited: Match Dot Com Arises

I have been somewhat unsuccessful in the world of online dating, but despite the near-disaster that my last adventure was, I’m trying again. You know, for the kicks. I don’t expect anything to come out of it. Consider it research. I shall do as I did for Kerrang! Dating. I’ll be taking y’all on a miniature tour of the site, letting you know whether it’s any cop. And if I have any developments, funny, creepy, or even – God forbid – decent, I shall let you know.

So, on to the introduction. I have just signed up and am typing up this post as I input my information. Firstly, Match.com is instantly better than K! Dating for one reason: it is free. Free! Zilch, nada, no dinero. Sweet. After putting in info such as postcode, age and which gender I’m seeking, I find myself confronted with an About Me page. It consists of 8 subsections. Because I’m feeling generous, I shall tell y’all what these are. All of them. For anyone considering online dating, pay close attention: you can use this to prepare your answers.

1a. How do you feel about meeting someone new?
– I’m not looking for a relationship
– I’m ready for a new relationship
– Let’s see what happens
– I’d rather not say

1b. Your relationship status:
– Currently separated
– Divorced
– Widowed
– Never married
– I’d rather not say

 Okay, now here I have a problem. I like that they have included the option to not disclose your status, and that they have put options for divorced and widowed, but here is my issue. “Currently separated”. Perhaps this is just me, but I would prefer simply the term ‘single’. To me, ‘currently separated’ suggests I have been in a relationship previously. You cannot be ‘separated’ unless you were, in some way, previously ‘joined’. My cynicism may just be picking holes, but this bothers me.

2a. Do you have children?
– None
– Yes, and they live at home
– Yes, and they live away from home
– Yes, and they sometimes live at home
– I’d rather not say

2b. Your personality:
– Adventurous
– Confident
– Easy going
– Funny
– Generous
– Helpful
– High maintenance
– Reliable
– Reserved
– Sensitive
– Sociable
– Spontaneous
– Thoughtful
– Shy
– Other

Okay. Here we have another problem. In my opinion a big one. I like the varied options for the children section, however we are very limited in our options for personality. Sure, there are a range of traits, and I can easily pick three or four I would place myself in, but here is my problem: you are only allowed to choose one. A good personality section, in my opinion, should allow you to select multiple answers. You would think that would narrow down the specifics of your personality. For example, you may be shy yet high maintenance, or generous yet reserved. In limiting your answer to a single option this makes the image of yourself tons more vague than it could be had they given the option for multiple answers.

3a. Your eyes:
– Blue
– Brown
– Green
– Hazel
– Black
– Grey
– Other

3b. Your hair:
– Light brown
– Dark brown
– Blonde
– Black
– Auburn/red
– Salt and pepper
– White
– Other

3c. Your hair length:
– Short
– Shoulder
– Long
– Shaved
– Bald

Overall, not much to say about this section. I felt maybe it was a little obscure in places (ie giving the option ‘salt and pepper’ but not ‘dyed) yet in general it did its job. I have nothing further to say about this.

4a. Your body type:
– About average
– Athletic
– Sim
– A few extra pounds
– Curvy
– Heavyset
– I’d rather not say

4b. Your height – drop down menu.

Okay here is another potential problem. Not a biggie, but I’m not a fan of the body type options. Not sure what to say about it, but this is where Kerrang! Dating excelled. They had an option ‘you decide’ which allowed potential matched to decide for themselves what body type they personally judged you to be. I liked this option as it meant that, where you may think yourself lower than average, someone else may find you to be quite the curvacious babe. Other than that, this section cannot be criticised.

5a. Your nationality:

I’m not going to type out all the options because, while the only four answers at the start are British, Irish, Indian and I’d rather not say, there is a list of countries under this which is very extensive. And I mean VERY. From Samoan to Macanese, you will find yourself on that list.

5b. Your ethnicity (multiple choices possible):

Again I won’t type them all out, but here I find an issue. Why is it that you can choose multiple options for ethnicity, but not for personality? You may be a helpful, thoughtful, spontaneous Latin-American, yet you are limited in the ways in which you can represent that. I have a problem with this part.

6. Your religion:

Again, too much to type, but this section is much better. There are numerous options including Agnostic, Spiritual, Shinto and Jewish. Nothing to comment on here.

7a. Your views on marriage:
– Important
– Very important
– Not necessary
– Sacred
I won’t so it again
– Out of the question
– I’d rather not say

7b. Do you want children?
– No
– Not sure
– Some day
– Definitely
– I’d rather not say

I kind of laughed at this. I like this section though. The views on marriage part was both funny and commendable. I like that they included this. It’s nice to see that opinion on marriage, and not just your current/past status, is taken into account. I also like the varied option for future children. I deem this the best section so far.

8a. Your level of education:
– High school
– Some college
– Associates degree
– Bachelors degree
– Masters

– PhD/Post doctoral
– I’d rather not say

Slight issue with this, but it may just be because I’m English and the American term of ‘high school’ threw me. I don’t know what an associates degree is and there is not option for currently studying at university, ie an Undergraduate option would be welcomed.

8b. Your occupation – drop down menu

8c. Tell us more about your job – 250 character limit

I like the extensiveness of the options for occupation and the fact you can expand on what you do. There are a lot of options so it’s highly likely that, no mater what obscure job you may be doing, you will be able to find something close to yours. And even if not, at least you have a section dedicated to explaining your particular job in more detail.

That’s the About Me page completed. I have just noticed that, to complete your profile, you must fill in answers for 6 categories: About Me, My Lifestyle, My Interests, About My Date, My profile Ad, My Photo. I’m not too sure what some of these are going to include, but that’s part of the “fun”. I’m still feeling generous so, what the heck? Let’s do this thing. I’ve come this far, might as wells give you the detailed walk-through of the other categories. Could be a long post, but at least you prospective online daters will get a good look into the sign up process. So, on to My Lifestyle.

1. sports you enjoy (multiple choices possible):
– Hiking/trekking
– American football
– Dancing
– Swimming
– Rugby
– Boxing/wrestling
– Bowling
– Gym/bodybuilding

… And several others including horseback riding, track and field, pilates and skiing. Quite a nice range here. It comes under the heading of sports so it could be taken that these are more things you would do for competition more than for fun but I suppose it could be taken either way. I am however, as a born-and-bred English gal, upset that cricket is not an option. As an Australian or an Indian I would be annoyed about this too but, no offense intended, as this is probably an American run site I imagine they don’t count cricket as a real sport. To my American readers I plead, don’t hit me, I’m fragile.

2a. Smoking:
– N
o way
– Occasionally
– Cigars
– Trying to quit
– Daily
– I’d rather not say

2b. Your pets (multiple choices possible):
– Cats
– Dogs
– Fish
– Horses
– Rabbits
– Gerbils/guinea pigs etc
– Birds
– Exotic animals
– I don’t have any animals
– Other animals

Not much to say here. Nice selection of options for both, got your typical pets. No ferrets as an option of its own but for the most part it’s on point with this. On to My Interests then.

1a. Interests (multiple choices possible):

I won’t list them all, but that speaks positively for itself. Where the personality subsection failed, the interests subsection thrives. I’d have liked some more flexibility on the personality part, but at least you can expand a little more with your interests and hopefully it will make up for the lack thereof in the previous section. Such answers here include photography, meeting friends, cars, book clubs, knitting and sightseeing. A give this section a thumbs up. Only a single thumb though.

1b. What do you do for fun (optional)? 250 character limit:

I suppose this is good for anyone who has an interest not mentioned on the multiple choice list, however I feel it’s a little pointless given that there are so many options to chose from that, for people who have selected from the list, you would be repeating yourself here. True, it’s optional, but it also makes me feel I should write something there.

2a. Entertainment:

About 12 options under this heading including concerts, singles parties and evenings out with family, but I feel there are too many similar options here given the variety of the previous section. For example there are at least 3 of the 12 that are about dance in some form. I understand that this is the ‘entertainment’ section, but personally I feel the options could have been broadened.

2b. Favourite local hot spots or travel destinations – optional (250 character limit)

Okay I like this bit. Lets you show off your local knowledge, specify places you’ve enjoyed or would like to check out. Good addition.

3a. Your taste in music (multiple choices possible):

Such options include pop rock, blues, soundtrack, relaxation, trip-hop and gospel.

3b. The kinds of films you prefer (multiple choices possible):

Such options include fantasy, police drama, independent cinema, erotic and manga.

Right, now we’re out of the way, it’s into the tasty stuff: your date. There are four subsections for this category and, as before, I’ll give y’all the options you can select from each. I both love and hate this part. I enjoy being able to specify my perfect type, but I also hate that I can get picky, or at least seem that way as my options will limit my potential matches. Over the years I’ve gotten less picky seeing as my perfect type used to be bold eyes, black hair with bangs, slim and taller than me, but not too tall. Not gonna lie, I still have my type, but I don’t fixate over one particular image anymore. Word of advice: this is good. If you’re like me and have a specific type in mind, think about broadening your options. It feels a lot better to have done so. I was being prejudice before, closed-minded, and now I’m .. less so. For the following section, please be aware I chose “woman seeking a man” so the questions will say “he” and “him” etc. This will be dependent on what you choose at the start of sign up.

1a. His height?
From: BLAH To: BLAH

1b. His body type (multiple choices available):
– No preference
– About average
– Athletic
– Slim
– A few extra pounds
– Large
– Heavyset

1c. His relationship status (multiple choices available):
– Currently eparated
– Divorced
– Widowed
– Never married

Mostly happy with this section. Nice that they let you choose more than one option, though again might be equally nice for a couple more body type options – not sure what they’d be, just seems a little constrained as it is.

2a. Should he have children (multiple choices available)?
– None
– Yes, and they live at home
– Yes, and they sometimes live at home
– Yes, and they live away from home

2b. Should he want children (multiple choices available)?
– No
– Not sure
– Some day
– Definitely

I like that both questions were asked. It’s nice that they gave the option for both present and future. Not much else to say about this.

3a. His personality:

For this, all the options are the same as you are faced with for Your personality, however there is one major difference: here you can select more than one option. I imagine, seeing as each person at sign up would have only selected one option, this is simply to broaden the number of people you can meet, but it still seems a little weird to me you can select multiple personality traits to search for/be matched with, but not to describe yourself.

3b. Does he smoke (multiple choices available)?
– No way
– Occasionally
– Cigar aficionado
– Trying to quit
– Daily

(For all of the following, multiple choices are possible. I’ll also not be listing all the options as some have many many answers to choose from and most are the same as previously mentioned).

4a. His ethnicity

4b. His studies

4c. His religion

So we’ve described ourselves physically, listed our hobbies and interests, and have outlined our perfect partner. Now comes the weird bit: My Profile Ad. In this section you have between 2 and 128 characters – not a random number at all – to sell yourself. It can be your motto for life, a sentence that describes you or your perfect partner, or even be a quote. I guess the jist of this is to make yourself stand out from the crowd. Not too sure what I, personally, can write here to sell myself, but I suppose as a book enthusiast it would be super lame cool appropriate to quote a favourite character. I can’t think of anything good yet though, so maybe I’ll just improvise with some S.T. Coleridge: “The one red leaf, the last of its clan, that dances as often as dance it can.” Sounds good to me.

After this comes another section, with a higher character limit, in which you can expand on that oh-so-snappy punch line that you’ve hooked your potentials in with. You get 50 to 2000 characters to describe what makes you smile, what your friends wold say about you, what you feel your best achievement is and generally to tell your audience something about you that will reel in a catch. I always struggle with this part, but my advice is give them enough to be interested, specific enough for them to pick up on in personal messages, but not so much that they know our life story before you’ve had a chance to chat. Perhaps a quirky trait, perfect date, unique physical attribute and bad habit. This will let potentials know something personal about you, warn them of your odd habits and paint a hazy watercolour which, together, may interest or deter potential dates. I think this is a good way to filter out the good from the bad, as someone who can’t put up with your oddities is not worth your time.

The next step is the easiest part – the profile picture. Just pick one you like. Once you’ve hit Save and Continue, your profile goes though for approval. Congratulations, you’re an online dater! Hit Save and Continue one more time and be free, my children.

I rather enjoyed documenting my adventures over at Kerrang! Dating, so consider this a sequel to that series. To revisit the first part, head over to the link at the side of my blog and hit the category called Kerrang! Chronicles. That’s it from me for now, but we’ll see what the next 24 hours brings and check back in.

For now, good luck, and good night, folks.