The Hell Butterfly

Archive for March, 2014

‘Wishful Thinking’ – A Short Story

Every day she tried.

The fountain was old. Very old. In fact, her grandmother had told of the times she had come here as a child herself. It was not your average fountain, not in design and not in beauty. This one was an awesome sight to behold. Made entirely of marble, the base of this behemoth was square, lipped at the top with an intricate series of carvings below, along the sides. She had been coming here every day for the last 431 days and was yet to memorise it. There was just too much to take in, something new to see each time. The water in this square always seemed so pure. It was brilliantly clear, yet tinged with a dazzling azure that set off the pale ashen hue of the marble. And in the water one could see all the coins that had been thrown in, one for each wish made by someone somewhere in the world.

In the centre of this large square was a second tier, this one circular. Out of the cylindrical structure, hands reached out, almost inviting the viewer in. Some held their palms up, letting the water trickle between their fingers. Others held their cupped hands tilted, allowing the water to slide from their palms into the pool below. These were secretly her favourite part of the whole fountain. The arms, hands, fingers, were sculpted with such detail, such delicacy that they seemed almost real. As she was once again admiring them, a small child on the opposite corner of the fountain was reaching for one. He held a coin in his hand. She knew what he was trying to do, but his arms weren’t long enough. A man behind him took him in his outstretched arms and held him up. She smiled as she watched the child place the coin into the upturned palm of an imploring marble hand. She had lost count of the number of people who did this, but she never failed to smile at the spectacle.

She turned her attention now to the statue crowning the fountain. This was what brought the crowds: they came for him, and came back for the fountain as a whole. The man atop the structure, looking proudly, protectively, down on the people, was a soldier. When her grandmother had visited, the soldier had been different: he had been dressed in the uniform of the First World War. Her statue was dressed differently. That was the one thing that had changed. The fountain had always been a tribute to the soldiers of war, but as the warriors had changed, so had the hero that stood strong and powerful at the top. Her hero looked as though he had just come home from Afghanistan; the helmet sat back on his head; the boots tight to his feet; the gun cradled in his arms, ready to defend those in need. His eyes seemed almost to shine with a gaze that told you it would be okay, his smile said he was home and happy, yet he never lost the pride of the armed forces. He seemed relieved to be off the battlefield, but did not forget that he was the protector, defender of his country.

She had brought a one pound coin with her every day. Today was the 432nd coin she would toss into the water. One friend had told her it was stupid. She shouldn’t put that amount of money to such a hopeless cause as wishful thinking. She had almost slapped that friend, but instead explained why she did: the money was unimportant to her, it was the gesture that gave her hope. Each day a veteran of the war would come and collect each coin, place them in a bucket, and leave. The next day he would return first thing in the morning and make a public announcement: “yesterday we raised X amount for Help the Heroes”. Each penny went to them, and the people of the town, even the thugs and ruffians, respected the cause enough to leave every piece of it in the water. Today would bring her donation total to £432, but it was the gesture of throwing the coin into the water, or placing it in the upturned hand, as she made her wish that gave her hope that it would come true.

She looked into the eyes of the soldier above her, smiled, and threw the coin. As it danced in the air, the sun glinted off and momentarily blinded her. She was still staring at the statue when she realised something: she had heard no splash. The statue seemed to smirk at her, like he knew something she didn’t. She looked down. An outstretched fist was held in the air before her. The arm was clad in thick camouflage material. The fist turned, unclenched, and there in the open palm was her coin, the arm in startling resemblance to those of the fountain. Her eyes travelled up the arm, but instead of marble, she found flesh. She found a face. She found the face. The face she had prayed for: the face of her husband. He was wearing his uniform, complete with helmet tipped back on his head, and boots tight to his feet. His eyes seemed almost to shine with a gaze that told you it would be okay, his smile said he was home and happy, yet he never lost the pride of the armed forces.

“Hi, honey.”

He took a pound coin from his pocket and added it to the one in his palm. He then held his hand above the water and dropped them both in.

“That makes 433, right?”

She nodded, gobsmacked. Her eyes clouded up. Her wish had come true. He was alive. He was safe. He was home. The grin that spread across his face at her reaction brought her back to reality. They embraced, she cried, he cried. She couldn’t wait to shove this in her friend’s face: sometimes wishful thinking is worth it. Her eyes were drawn to those of the soldier atop the fountain and in her mind she thanked him for bringing her husband home. He had protected her until her man had returned to her. She could finally go home with her very own hero. And as she left, the marble soldier appeared pleased, and he turned his attention to the next person who needed him.

This post comes courtesy of today’s Daily Prompt.

All the best to the military, great respect for our people out there. Unfortunately this fountain is merely a figment of my imagination, but let’s pretend this link is our very own Help for Heroes fountain.

Other wishes:

  2. This I Wish: | Musings | WANGSGARD
  3. Bitten by the Love Bug!! [Wish Come True] | She Writes
  4. Last wish | Perspectives on life, universe and everything
  5. “Take a breath, count to three, throw it in” | The Bohemian Rock Star’s “Untitled Project”
  6. Pensive | Perspectives on life, universe and everything
  7. Daily Prompt & For The Love And Sea Shells | The Jittery Goat
  8. Spring is late as we | y
  9. tossing a coin | Love your dog
  10. Daily Prompt: Three Coins in the Fountain | Sabethville
  11. Three Coins in the Fountain: Daily Prompt | ALIEN AURA’S BlOG: IT’LL BLOW YOUR MIND!
  12. Wishing | Kate Murray
  13. Shooting Star | the intrinsickness
  14. ever so often i | y
  15. Rejected by the Trevi Fountain | wisskko’s blog
  16. Wishes of a Dreamer | jsleflore
  17. Daily Prompt: Three Coins in the Fountain #postaday | Of Glass & Paper
  18. Fountains | Writing and Works
  19. Daily Prompt: Three Coins in the Fountain | genieve celada photography
  20. Daily Prompt: Three Coins in the Fountain | seikaiha’s blah-blah-blah
  21. Wishing on a Fallen Penny | snapshotsofawanderingheart
  22. Coins In A Fountain | Awake & Dreaming
  23. Fontana di Trevi | Life is great
  24. My 27 Cents Worth ::E.N.Howie’s Motivational Moments
  25. Daily Prompt: Three Coins in the Fountain | Basically Beyond Basic
  26. Me, aged about ten, “I wish I could fly”… | thoughtsofrkh
  27. Tossing pennies over the left shoulder into the Trevi Fountain and staving off nosebleeds « psychologistmimi
  28. I’m a Writer, Yes I Am
  29. Among the Whispers
  30. Daily Prompt: Three Coins in the Fountain | Burning Imagination
  31. ‘Wishful Thinking’ – A Short Story | jigokucho
  32. Daily Prompt: Three Coins in the Fountain « Mama Bear Musings
  33. Coins in the Fountain | Lisa’s Kansa Muse

Regular Broadcasting Will Commence Shortly

I’m sorry. There will not be a real post from The Hell Butterfly today.

Today was the closest thing to a first date I’ve ever been on.

It was with M24.

He said I was hot.

Happy elephant

I’m going to drown in a pool of my own joyous tears now. Regular posting shall commence tomorrow.

Love Story? What Love Story?

ImageI’ve never had a relationship. Almost 21 years old and I’m still a Single Pringle, though that statement is void when you really think about the logistics of the tube. Throughout the years I have had but one admirer and I messed that one up. And I’ve never had the guts to ask out the few guys who I’ve really liked. So up until now, my love story consists of a few screwed up bits of paper that missed the bin when I threw them over my shoulder.

But I began a new story about five weeks ago. So far all I have is the introductory chapter plus a couple to set the scene. It’s not a story that I can write a preface for, because although I’m pretty sure of how it’s going to end – and yes it would resemble something like the previous stories – this one is full of surprises. Every time I go to to tear up the piece of paper, the character throws a curveball at me that makes me hesitate and write a little bit longer.

This story is entitled Battleships – M24.

The chapters I have already set in proverbial stone are these:

1. The Art of Indecision

In this chapter I find myself beginning the game of Battleships by choosing my target and aiming. I chose M24. I found the mark for the first time.

2. Hit

This chapter sees a second hit on the five-peg-length crate carrier.

3. Strike Three

A well-deserved, albeit unexpected, third strike with M24.

And I suppose this post suggests the fourth chapter: Love Story? The fact that I instantly thought of M24 when I saw the words “think of your longest relationship” must mean something, right? I’m no longer considering him as someone I can talk to over the internet who actually wants to speak to me. I am now seeing him as potential boyfriend material. This is no longer a mere conversation, this is something else. Something more.

Tomorrow I begin chapter five.

The First Date?

I am not yet sure if what we are doing is a date. I guess I’ll ask him that when we meet. But tomorrow I am going to meet M24 for the first time. He is traveling to Plymouth, we are going to walk around in the sunshine, and then I am going to take him to my favourite cafe/restaurant and buy him anything of his choice. I am both excited and terrified.

They say write what you know, but until you find out, how can you write? Tomorrow I begin my research.

Other love stories:

  1. Swirling in the Time of Internet | Kosher Adobo
  2. Daily Prompt: That’s Amore- The Psychology of Changes in Love | Journeyman
  3. Princess | Perspectives on life, universe and everything
  4. Missing that tune | Perspectives on life, universe and everything
  5. Eddie And Flipper, Reverse Revolution | The Jittery Goat
  6. If you love to walk | Услуги переводчика – английский язык
  7. Too Good To Be True | Ventures | WANGSGARD
  8. Too Good To Be True | Musings | WANGSGARD
  9. passion | yi-ching lin photography
  10. Love And Linger – A Vibrational Experience | Shrine of Hecate – Ramblings of a New Age Witch
  11. you leave | y
  12. DP Daily Prompt: That’s Amore | Sabethville
  13. Daily Prompt: That’s Amore | seikaiha’s blah-blah-blah
  14. Daily prompt: Amore | The Wandering Poet
  15. This one is easy. | What?????
  16. Daily Prompt: That’s Amore « Mama Bear Musings
  17. Michael [Poem] [reblog] | She Writes
  18. Daily Prompt: That’s Amore | cockatooscreeching
  19. Start Cueing Up the 1812 Overture, Here Come the Fireworks… | Eyes Through The Glass – A Blog About Asperger’s
  20. how we met, fell in love, broke up, got back together, had a baby & got married | the hilarious pessimist
  21. That’s Amore Haiku | Lisa’s Kansa Muse
  22. Love Story? What Love Story? | jigokucho
  23. She Loved Me First ::E.N.Howie’s Motivational Moments
  24. okay. | a study in coincidences.
  25. My non-relationship relationship related entry! | thoughtsofrkh
  26. If One Day Love Comes Along… | B.Kaotic
  28. ‘I’ve got a safety-pin stuck in my heart…’ My Amour since 1977… | ALIEN AURA’S BlOG: IT’LL BLOW YOUR MIND!
  29. A LIFE BORN FROM MUD | Hastywords

Don’t Stop The Music

When I saw the title of today’s Daily Prompt I had no other choice but to do this. The one moment I want to linger, the one moment in time I wish could never end. It’s being at a rock show, surrounded by hundreds of other people drowning gloriously in the music, all also wishing they could stay that way forever. And what better way to express the feeling than this? I’ll now hand the reigns over to you, Halestorm. In the amended words of Lzzy Hale:

At the rock show

I’ll be right in the front row.

Heart and soul they both know

It’s where I’ve gotta be.

Other wish-it-woudn’t-enders:

  1. A Night At Billy Bronco’s | The Jittery Goat
  2. Daily Prompt: Linger- What Makes a Life Worth Living For | Journeyman
  3. The Last | Kate Murray
  4. A Monday free of an alarm call is wonderful, isn’t it? | thoughtsofrkh
  5. DP Daily Prompt: Linger | Sabethville
  6. Daily Prompt: Linger | The WordPress C(h)ronicle
  7. S. Thomas Summers: Writing with Some Ink and a Hammer | There Be Leprechauns
  8. Shared Lullabies: An Adult Who Wants to Stay Just a Little Bit Longer in Her Parents’ Bed | Kosher Adobo
  9. linger | yi-ching lin photography
  10. after that first bite, | y
  11. When Do I Stay Awhile? | Cass’s Useless Opinions
  12. Daily Prompt: Linger | seikaiha’s blah-blah-blah
  13. Hardships will not deter me from getting closer to my love | Outreach
  14. My pre-game Pre-Game | The Bohemian Rock Star’s “Untitled Project”
  15. Daily prompt: Linger | The Wandering Poet
  16. A Love Affair With Southern Italy | AS I PLEASE
  17. Home Sweet Home | Views Splash!
  18. Step by step | Le Drake Noir
  19. Daily Prompt: Linger | tnkerr-Writing Prompts and Practice
  20. Linger Longer… | Hope* the happy hugger
  21. Never fly solo | Perspectives on life, universe and everything
  22. If ever | Perspectives on life, universe and everything
  23. Love for lingering, drumming | Journey of a Culture Carrier
  24. Lingering longer | Sue’s Trifles
  25. The Trouble with Lingering | Wise Woman in Training
  26. Daily Prompt: Linger « cognitive reflection
  27. I see stars | littlegirlstory
  28. Linger At The Beach | Lisa’s Kansa Muse
  29. Lingering, all day today | sixty, single and surviving
  30. Linger | forgottenmeadows
  31. Not Wanting this Moment to End. Daily Prompt | Angela McCauley
  32. Linger | The Library Lady and Rosie Bear
  33. Lingering Sun | The Ambitious Drifter
  34. Joyful linger over Versatile Award | litadoolan
  35. 279. Don’t Let it End | Barely Right of Center
  36. Until Next Time | Lifestyle | WANGSGARD
  37. Lingering in the Garden of Dreams | Wright Outta Nowhere
  38. Lingering in wanderlust. | charli:blog
  39. Linger On Me Finger
  40. Linger…….. | Because It Calms My Nerves:
  41. Lingering on the Sand. | Asta’s Space
  42. [M.M.X.I.V. 76] All good things… | Never A Worry
  43. i still linger…. | from dusk to dawn….
  44. Linger On My Dear Monday | B.Kaotic
  45. The Child In Me | Broken Light: A Photography Collective
  46. Linger: Le Parc Paris (Daily Prompt) | bemuzin
  48. Frozen In Time | Knowledge Addiction

“I believe I can fly” .. Wait, what?

I’m usually not very connected to the world. I often drift through the day without paying much attention to anything. But there are a few things that I do and don’t believe in. I can’t say whether I believe anything really with all my heart, because I don’t know how my feelings work. I can’t tell if what I feel towards a person, or a particular subject, is true to it’s core. But I do know that certain things are, to me, almost completely true. There are things I believe in, and things that I don’t, and the level of belief may not be enough to call it ‘true’, but certainly enough to make an impression on me and influence the way I am.

Things I believe in:

1. The Earth has its own consciousness. I don’t believe there is a God. What I do believe is that the Earth itself has a mind of its own. It needs to keep an equilibrium. Everything that happens in the world, that some may call ‘divine intervention’ is not in fact the work of God, but the work of the Earth trying to keep a balance. If one country over-populates, the Earth will compensate by reducing the number elsewhere. Usually this will be the more vulnerable places, which is why you always hear of high mortality rates in Africa, but high birth rates in the more affluent parts of the world. We fuck up in one way, and the Earth will find a way to balance it out somewhere else in the world. It needs balance.

And in this way I also believe we have royally fucked that balance. We have made Earth’s job so much harder. Yes, I’m talking about Climate Change. We all know the story: the last couple hundred years had seen a rise in fossil fuel consumption and the last 50 or so have been the worst on record, and it is set to get worse. I won’t go on a rant about it as that is not the point of this, but it has had a large implication on the Earth’s job. It is finding it ever harder to combat Climate Change and it’s our fault. Equilibrium is harder to keep. Before when the biggest problems were the population growth, it now has to deal with an ever-increasing fever. That’s how I like to think of it. The constant weather changes is like the hot and cold of a fever. We have infected the Earth with this disease and it is getting worse each day. The temperature is rising, and to try and flush it out and regain balance, the Earth must throw snowstorms over the US and heatwaves over France. It must cause droughts in Africa and floods in Britain. I can’t say I truly believe this, because no-one can know for sure, but I’m pretty set in my view on this. The Earth is the real God.

2. Aliens. I refuse to believe we humans are the only intelligent life in this entire universe. The universe is so big we can’t physically know what else is out there. We can go to the moon, and we can land on Mars, but who really knows what else is happening in the great expanse of outer-space? We cannot definitively say there is no other life out there. I’m not saying I believe there are little green men with three fingers and giant black eyes roaming the skies in their cylindrical metal pods. But I refuse to believe there is really nothing else out there.

I like to watch out for alien craft in UFO Hunting Season. This is usually around October through to February. I say this because this is when the nights are darkest. UFO simply means Unidentified Flying Object. So maybe it is just an airplane going overhead, but at night who really can tell? I have seen some odd phenomena over the years. This includes seeing two aircraft fly head on at a rather high speed, circle each other and fly off again. Maybe this was just Chinook maneuver training as we were right near the RAF Odiham base, but I have a hard time believing our own aircraft would be able to pull off a stunt like that over a main road without someone announcing it in the local news. It seems too outrageous and really too dangerous to be carried out, especially somewhere so public. So what was it I saw? Also, on another occasion, me and my family witnessed close to 50 lights in the sky. We spotted them on the way home from work, and they sure as hell weren’t no stars. They were red lights, sometimes flashing, but all moving slowly in the same direction. There were so many and so close together it was impossible for me to believe they were regular aircraft. And it was silent, even with that great number of aircraft. Something was happening that night and who’s to say it wasn’t some military training program from another such intelligent life-form out there in the wide universe?

3. Music and television saves lives. Some people might look at this and wonder why on Earth I would believe that. How could a piece of music or a band save a life? How can a television program, characters, actors, do such a profound thing? But it’s true. I believe it. I’ve seen it. I’ve lived it. Music and television have both saved my life on numerous occasions. Sometimes through escapism, sometimes through a connection of empathy. Knowing someone else, fictional or otherwise, has felt what I have is a real help at times.

In terms of music, what a band stands for can be a greater influence than you may imagine. For me it was My Chemical Romance. It is the views they value that got me through a few really difficult times of my life. Be it the music, the lyrics, interviews, or inspirational speeches, MCR has a way of communicating their optimism, their positivity. The one quote that stands out for me was repeated on stage in several shows of theirs after The Daily Mail labelled them a ‘suicide cult’: “Nothing is worth hurting yourself over. Nothing is worth taking your life over. Do you understand?” Now I know that those of you who follow The Hell Butterfly will know how hypocritical this sounds, me saying that I am inspired by the words to not hurt yourself. But I know it isn’t worth it, and throughout my life there have been moments when this quote and their music has been the only thing stopping myself from doing something stupid. And I know this isn’t a personal thing to me, because it was the same for my sister. For her it was The Script.

Television too has this power. I strongly believe that the anime Bleach has done wonders for me. It has saved my life a few times. I can escape into their world. If I could crawl into my laptop screen and become a Soul Reaper, if I could live in the Seireitei and protect the World of the Living from Hollows then I would do it in a heartbeat. That world for me is everything. There is the sense of comradeship, of respect, of having values, of protecting something, of standing for something, of believing in something. The Soul Reapers fight every day because they believe in something. They believe in a better world. They stand for something, each different between Soul Reapers, but they all have something they value and something they stand for. They all have reasons to keep living. And that is so inspirational I can’t even explain it. I can escape into their world and feel what they feel. I can witness them fulfilling their beliefs and believe it too. And again, I’m not the only one. For my sister it was Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Music and television really can save lives.

Things I don’t believe in:

1. Love at first sight. I believe there is such a thing as infatuation at first sight, or lust at first sight, but not love. To form a bond that strong with a person takes more than eye contact and the outer physical appearance of a person. Even going as far as the first meeting including speech I think it is impossible to truly love a person on that first encounter. You can form a quick friendship, can fall into a mad crush, but you can’t love somebody that quickly. Love takes time, trust, knowledge. Can you really love somebody you don’t even know? ‘At first sight’ suggests a mere glance at the physical appearance which is why I believe lust at first sight is a possibility. You can see someone, think ‘Dauym they are fine‘ and lust over them. But love, for me, is an impossibility in that situation. Any sort of feeling at first sight is merely material, is is not emotional. Physical attraction yes, but emotional attachment, absolutely not.

2. God. I went into this a bit in the first point, but to elaborate, while I do believe the Earth has a separate consciousness, I also believe the Almighty God is false. There is no ‘God’ in the sense that the Bible portrays. I was discussing certain points about the bible the other day with my bestie, and together we came up with several holes.

First – Eve eating from the Tree of Knowledge. God scolds her and Adam for this and goes so far as to banish them from the Garden of Eden. Second – if I have my knowledge correct here, he punishes his own son (Jesus, duh) by banishing him too to a life on Earth. In the first case, how can God possibly be mad at them for eating from the Tree when he gave them no such information as to the ‘negative consequences’ as he sees them? Nowhere in the six days of creating the Earth did God give them any form of intelligence or common sense. How were they to know any better? They were hungry, saw something tasty and the snake told them to do it. Maybe, if God had have spent the last day giving them intelligence instead of having a nap, they would have known that certain things are out of bounds and would have learned to respect rules, orders, and boundaries. They wouldn’t have been curious for knowledge if they had been given it in the first place. Secondly, how cruel must a man be to condemn his own son to a life of punishment for something somebody else did? Regardless of whether they were committing a crime knowingly or not, Jesus had nothing to do with it. So why did God see fit to punish him? It makes no sense to me.

Putting the Bible aside, just look at the world. All this disease, war, pain, corruption. If God is as powerful as religion tells us he is, why doesn’t he do something about it? You can’t tell me letting someone die of cancer is ‘just punishment’ if they were a nice person who never did a thing wrong. How can he allow thugs, murderers, rapists, pedophiles, to roam the streets when he has no qualms about allowing a baby to be stillborn, a child to be killed in a car crash, or a dog to be beaten? Fine, if some people want to believe there is somebody out there who will judge them by their actions and receive their punishment as fair, because that’s what God planned for them, then by all means go ahead. I won’t stop you from believing, because we all have to believe in something. I’ll allow those people to have faith. But for me I refuse to believe that an all-powerful omnipotent being such as he is could let this world be so messed up.

3. Positive thinking. I had to think hard to come up with a third point for this. I wanted three on either side but it was hard to come up with something off the top of my head. But thinking deeper I came up with this. I don’t believe that positive thinking can really ever get you want you want. Call me a pessimist, I am one after all. But on a serious note, I can’t believe that simply by telling yourself you can get that job because you deserve it, and are capable of anything if you put your mind to it, will really make you any more likely to get it. Positive thinking may work for self-esteem. If you’re a strong person and can tune out to the outside influences and truly believe that what you tell yourself is true in that respect then yes, maybe positive thinking alone can be enough. But I don’t buy it. Not entirely. How can being positive make any difference in an interview if your credentials aren’t right? How can believing you can be successful at something overcome your ability to do it? That’s what I don’t get: people who say that thinking positive will make it alright. Surely, if you lack the capability to do something, no amount of positive thinking can help. I just can’t believe it.

Maybe it is the pessimist in me. The way I see it, shit happens, and if you expect it to happen it hurts a little less when it does. If you expect it to go wrong and it somehow defies expectation by having a more positive outcome, it makes the victory that much sweeter. I just don’t believe that positive thinking is enough by itself to make things happen the way you want them too. But maybe that’s just me.

Other beliefs:

  1. Material Love: I Believe in Chicken | Kosher Adobo
  2. I Believe | Kate Murray
  3. Death begs to differ | Daily Prompt: I Believe | likereadingontrains
  4. Daily Prompt: I Believe- Psychological advantage of having beleifs | Journeyman
  5. Daily Prompt: I Believe | The WordPress C(h)ronicle
  6. Not So Open Mind | The Jittery Goat
  7. DP Daily Prompt: I Believe! | Sabethville
  8. One Crazy Mom » What I believe to be true
  10. S. Thomas Summers: Writing with Some Ink and a Hammer | When Neverland Dies
  11. Thoughtful Combinations | Rima Hassan
  12. I Believe? | Writing and Works
  13. I believe… | Words ‘n Pics…
  14. Daily Prompt: I Believe | Jen & Juice
  15. Daily Prompt: What do I believe? | Lupus?! A wha dat?!
  16. Honest something | shame
  17. I Believe | Oldman
  19. Daily Prompt: I Believe | tnkerr-Writing Prompts and Practice
  20. The Power of Belief ::E.N.Howie’s Motivational Moments
  21. Daily Prompt: I Believe | Raevenly Writes
  22. I believe | fromdublintoparis
  23. » Daily Prompt: I Believe | My Extraordinary Everyday Life
  24. Daily Prompt: I Believe | seikaiha’s blah-blah-blah
  25. I believe my blog’s anniversary is not far off | Sue’s Trifles
  26. Have Faith my Brethen | Green Embers
  27. Don’t Stop Believin | snapshotsofawanderingheart
  28. I Believe | Can’t Sleep
  29. I Believe | The Silver Leaf Journal
  31. Daily Prompt: I Believe | Of Glass & Paper
  32. I Believe / I Do Not Believe
  33. Believe in Love. | Asta’s Space
  34. musings | a study in coincidences.
  35. The Big 3s | Faith, Life and Compassion
  36. I am not a walrus. | Sinister Pacifism
  37. Daily Prompt: I Believe | Completely Disappear
  38. Say It Like It IS | Life Confusions
  39. some i believe and some i don’t… | from dusk to dawn….
  40. Responsible, Resilient and Ridiculous….(wp daily prompt) | Daily Observations
  41. Daily Prompt: I Believe | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss

Rise of the Technophobe


I lost a friend today. We’ve been together every day for 6 years. But years of dropping, washing, and ultimately charging and dying, it finally gave out. My phone’s Messages broke. I can’t access my Inbox, Outbox or Drafts folder without my phone going comatose, I can write messages but can’t send them, and now I’m not even able to receive them from others. So I had to get a new phone. May you rest in peace, my friend.

I managed to get a Facebook message to my Mum in time so she could send my Dad down to Plymouth with a spare phone. I have just spent the last ten minutes going through it and have come to one conclusion.

I can’t stand it.

I’m a massive technophobe. Anything touchscreen and I freak. They changed the sign in system at my hometown’s doctor’s surgery to a touchscreen computer system and that was bad enough. I detest touchscreen with a passion. I end up doing this weird hand wiggle thing when I go to touch something, like shaking my hand above the screen will make it go away. And when I do touch the screen I do it like I’m poking a sleeping bear. I can’t stand touchscreen.

I was hoping to find an up to date phone with buttons. Actual physical, pressable buttons. I like something I can feel, not tapping a random section of screen and hoping it registered the correct command. But everything these days is God Damn touchscreen.

My laptop screen is touchscreen. Makes it awkward when I’m trying to clean it.

My phone is now touchscreen. Let the pocket-dialing commence.

Every bloody piece of technology is touchscreen. What happened to the good old days of coiled wires trailed through two rooms with a plastic brick for a speaking device? When did pushable buttons become ‘unfashionable’?

Don’t get me wrong. I like where technology has come. Without my mobile phone, my laptop and the internet I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. The internet allowed me to have this blog, and portable computers made it possible to blog anywhere with the help of wifi. It’s incredible, it really is. But why does it need to go any further? Things don’t need to be any faster. If things move at the same speed we do then surely that’s enough? What’s the point of having a device capable of completing a task in 0.1 seconds if it’ll take 0.8 seconds for us to make our next move? Things are good as they are. Or I should say as they were just a few years ago. I don’t like the direction technology has taken and is still taking. I guess this is how the previous generations felt about the laptop and mobile phone.

Technology has really changed the world, but I was quite happy with my Motorola Razr (now officially classed as ‘retro’ by MSN). All I want is a phone that can send and receive phone calls and text messages. You can keep your Flappy Bird and your Instagram. I already miss being able to ensure I’ve spelt things correctly by pressing a certain button a certain number of times. I can’t type with this new touchscreen keyboard. This is a message I just tried to send to my Mum:

ImageThis was supposed to say “Do you remember how to get to the alarms on this phone? There’s one set for 7.40 I think but don’t know how to turn it off”. Now, I’m not the skinniest person in the world, but my thumbs are not that fat. If the letters on the keyboard were even remotely decently sized I would have typed it perfect first time. But because the general rule of thumb, pun not intended, is that the smaller it is, the better it must be, we are subject to tiny tiny keyboards that make our appendages seem chubby.

Perhaps what I’m after is a Blackberry. My Mum just suggested it to me. It apparently makes phone calls and texts and has a proper qwerty keyboard. With buttons. I shall investigate into this.

To Hell with your touchscreen bullshit. I’m a pen and paper gal myself. If I could a) find a post office and b) afford the postage I would go back to the days of the handwritten letter. There’s something quite charming in the concept. But alas, I must content myself with aviary cartoons and smaller-than-small mobile devices that allow you to run the country from the palm of your hand.

I am Megan. And I am a technophobe.

It’s nice to meet you.

‘The Blind Inside’ – A Poem

A barrier, invisible, here standsImage
myself and the world I’m meant to know.
The barrier; four walls impenetrable;
one way window with myself in reflection.
Why can’t I see outside?
My world within these walls is all the world
I need …
To open my eyes to what resides beyond:
I saw, but now I’m blind.
These walls reflect, repel, reject.
I cannot see.
What’s happening outside …



<< A picture I drew to go alongside the poem.