The Hell Butterfly

The Introductory Message Feature – Act Two

I still don’t think the introductory feature is really worth it. I have to thank it because that’s how I got in contact with M24, but there are so many laughable introductions that it’s almost painful to see.

With some of the ones I’ve received since the last installment of The Introductory Message Feature I couldn’t help laughing out loud at the absurdity of it. Just for the kicks I’m going to share some of them with you.

The WTFer:

Doctor Who fanatic looking for a companion … I don’t have a TARDIs but I do have a lot of love to give. I play Warhammer, I shoot airguns, I watch Top Gear and laugh at the Reaper.

Haha, what? Laugh at the Reaper? Is that an inside joke or you laugh in the face of death?

The lame duck:

Hellooooo! Hey im m___, a friend suggested I give this a go as I had some bad luck with ladies lately. If im honest im sceptical, it was their persuasion that I done it! But hey, prove me wrong! I’m 25 I earn decent money doing what I do, but I’m studying at the open uni so one day I can better my current career, and do something I want to do. They say behind every successful man is a more successful woman, well I want to be successful, but i’m single! lol

N’aww.

The jaw-dropper:

I love the world – wanna join me?

Hi, so about me… I love the world and work to be happy in it. I’m very interested in philosophy and psychology – but also interested in pretty much everything in the universe 😀 – I want to know how the world is; how it works, how I work, how other people work.

I’m try to live what I value; like honesty, integrity, consistency, sincerity, courage, empathy, humility, curiosity and all that great stuff. I try to live by those things that I value.

I’m a relaxed kinda guy; I get inspired and enthused by lots of things. I’m genuine and friendly, love to play and be creative, study, question and master things, 🙂 I like to have my quiet moments and engaged moments. I try to live life the best I can.

‘I fall in love a little bit with anyone who shows me their soul – the world is so guarded and fearful – I appreciate rawness so much.’

Wow, man. That’s deep. I don’t think I can compete with that.

The outright hilarious:

im waiting for you im looking for a nice girl,where are you hidding:D

Hahaha .. ahahahah! Oh God I’m sorry, were you looking for me? I’m down here on the floor breaking my ribs at your absurdity.

The punctuation-phobe:

if you like wot you see message me 😉 Hi may name is A___ im 23 and love a good laugh and good banter i have a good full time job witch i love i also have a vespa scooter witch i enjoy and do some scooter rallys with i also do martial arts during the week any other questions or if you like what you see then please send me a message. 🙂

Note he spells ‘which’ as ‘witch’. Twice.

The inconstant:

Fun, fun, fun!! Im an athletic, energetic and sporty 18 year old. I have a good sense of humour but sometimes can come accross as shy. I love watching films and tv series. I am trustworthy and reliable as well as honest.

So you’re shy but fun, reliable but sporty but trustworthy and honest at the same time! Then why, if you’re all of these things in one neat little 18 yr old package did you have to say it like you shouldn’t be all of them?

To anyone who has followed the Kerrang! Dating Chronicles you may remember my mentioning J22 and B25. I thought about messaging based on their introductory messages so let’s end this by attempting to redeem the feature. Perhaps it’s not an entire failure.

J22:

Reliable Spontaneity [Not sure how you can be reliably spontaneous but alright then]

I am looking for someone genuine. I’m not interested in fakery or people trying to be something they are not! [Hoorah! A bloke who won’t settle for plastic!] I would like someone that I can come home to AND go out with! I would love to go rock climbing and many other out-doorsy activities alongside another like-minded person! [Knows what he wants, likes the outdoors. Good on him].

I love gaming, reptiles, guitar, the outdoors old buildings, I also really care about the environment. With the recent floods and gales going crazy in the UK, and phosphates being released into the atmosphere to combat global warming (It’ll actually make it worse in the long run) I believe that as it stands – humans are killing the planet – but we can change that. [Optimistic, loves the environment .. very nice. He stands for something. A quality you don’t find often anymore].

I dislike only one thing in general – a person dismissing an idea they know nothing about. Fair enough if you don’t care about something, but you cannot say you do not LIKE it if you have never read about it, or physically done it. [Strong values. Another redeeming quality].

B25:

Viking looking for girl :p [Viking? Interesting.] I love adventuring, especially in my vdub, playing music, surfing and studying science [Wide range of interests and hobbies, outdoorsy, likes to study. Sweet.] I’m a 3rd year ‘BSc Conservation Biology’ student a professional architect builder of cob – sustainable traditional earth houses – in Devon. [Well, I’m in Devon so points for that. Also researching and studying something to do with the environment so he cares for the planet. Sounds like a decent bloke. Plus, he was cute.]

I didn’t message these two in the end – they didn’t take the bait. But as you’ll remember, M24 did. Here is the one introductory message that cause me to message back.

M24:

hi

Hey

Im a newbie to online dating sites so here goes!
I am looking for someone fun and interesting to spend some time with and get to know.

Take a look at my profile, if you like, message me x x x

M___

Okay so you may be looking at that thinking ‘why would she reply to this and not the others?’ Firstly, he took the bait. When I looked at his profile he looked back at mine and showed an interest. This made me believe he’d paid attention to my profile. In terms of the content, he said he was new to online dating – so am I. I liked that he wasn’t afraid to admit he’d never done this before. The problem with some of the other good ones was simply that they were too specific. I was reading it thinking I couldn’t compete with their values. M24 knew what he was looking for but didn’t scare me off with specifics that I knew I didn’t have. he also didn’t pressure anyone into messaging him. He asked that people pay attention to his profile and message him if it took their interest. Overall, it was nice and polite, relaxed, and made me feel comfortable messaging. And you know I’m glad I did.

Still not a fan of the feature though. At least it’s not as bad as the Wink feature. That’s just weird

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