The Hell Butterfly

Rage Quitting

I’m sure there are a number of you out there who know this feeling.

You’re playing a game, be it XBox, Playstation, whatever, and then something stupid happens that makes you lose right at that last crucial moment. Yeah, I know this well. And nothing, in my opinion, is worse for this than AI’s. As ‘artificial intelligence’ you would expect at least a little co-operation. But all it really means is they can get better head-shot percentages than you and use health kits when they still have half their health. For those who play the game, you will know well what I mean – Rochelle of Left 4 Dead 2 is quite possibly the worst character ever invented in the history of gaming.

The example I’m about to give you happened just now. I’m writing this post to calm my frustrations as I once again lose faith in AI humanity. After a long, grueling fight for my life, carrying bottles of coke, shooting up hordes of zombies and generally being an awesome sniper, we get no more than ten metres from the safe room to the next level. Then we get ambushed by specials. A Spitter, Hunter and Charger all appear out of nowhere and pin me down. I’m dying, having my guts literally torn from me while I lie there in a pool of acid unable to do anything but watch my health deplete into dust.

And what do the AI’s do? That’s right. They stand and watch.

Not a single one of them is shooting. Not to save me. Not even to save themselves. They just stand by watching as my innards become one with the surrounding area. Nothing is more frustrating in a single player game than when your ‘team-mates’ refuse to help you win. They know you can win the game, even if all of them are dead and you are the last man (or woman) standing. But once you die, it’s game over for everybody. So why don’t they help me? Even knowing they’ll respawn once I’m locked up in the confines of the safe room, why do they not shoot the things that want to kill me?

The problem I find with AI’s is that, true they have better shooting skills at times and, also true they are the only ones able to get me out of a sticky situation at others, but in the end, they have no common sense. For the most part, AI’s are not programmed to think. Where an Actual Intelligence team would watch your back, take care of the immediate threats first, and ration the health equipment, AI’s are only able to function on a short term scale. Quite the conundrum when you, yourself, know what’s still in store. You have the common sense to wait until you are almost dead in a ditch to use the kit that will heal you to perfect health, or to shoot the zombies that are kicking the crap out of your team-mate before trying to help them up. But AI’s after all are just that. They are Artificial.

My recommendations? :

a) Kill off your unhelpful AI team-mates and deal with the Karma Charger that will without a doubt be waiting for you around some unexpected corner;
b) Put up with them and save their arses, repeating the level until they understand that you are there to survive;
Or c) My personal favourite. Rage quit. Because after all, you’ve run down to your final magazine of bullets, your health bar is dangerously low, you’ve run through swarms of zombies with a box of coke in your hands, only to be jumped at the final hurdle by a angsty teenager who happens to have been bitten by a zombie the day before and then you die.

Come on, people. You’ve worked that hard just for your team to watch you bleed out. You’re not seriously going to replay the level, are you?


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